Surviving Sleep Deprivation—A Guide for New Parents
Struggling with newborn sleep deprivation? This expert guide offers practical tips, sleep strategies, and self-care advice to help new parents navigate exhaustion and get the rest they need.
Hi Parents!
I’m Kelly-Ann Smith, a board-certified pediatric nurse practitioner, founder of @cubconvos, and—most importantly—a mom who has been exactly where you are.
As a NICU nurse preparing families for discharge, one of the most common questions I heard was: “So… when do we sleep?” My answer? “Never.” (Half-joking, but not entirely!)
Now that I’ve experienced those sleepless newborn nights firsthand, I can confidently say that sleep deprivation is unavoidable—but it doesn’t have to break you. With the right approach, you can survive (and even thrive) while navigating your baby’s unpredictable sleep cycles.
In this guide, I’ll share practical, science-backed strategies to help you manage exhaustion, optimize your rest, and ease the transition into parenthood. Plus, I’ll give you a sneak peek at how I can support you even further through my upcoming paid Substack community, where I’ll be offering video demonstrations, personalized Q&As, and expert-led sleep strategies tailored to your baby’s needs.
Ready to take back some control? Let’s dive in!
1. Managing Expectations – Why Newborn Sleep Is So Unpredictable
Newborns sleep a lot—anywhere from 16 to 18 hours a day—but if you’re wondering why that doesn’t translate to you getting more sleep, here’s the reality: newborns sleep in short bursts, not long stretches.
Why? Because their tiny bodies require frequent feedings—typically every 2 to 4 hours, sometimes more if they’re breastfed or in a growth spurt. They don’t yet have a circadian rhythm, meaning they have no concept of day or night.
Knowing what to expect can make a world of difference in how you approach sleep. Instead of resisting it, try working with your baby’s natural rhythms to maximize your rest. In the next section, I’ll share realistic strategies that have helped both my patients and me as a new mom.
2. Prioritizing Rest – The Power of Naps, Shared Duties & Letting Go
Before becoming a mom, I heard the advice: “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” My response? How will I ever get anything else done?!
The truth? Prioritizing rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
Here’s how to make it work:
✔ Embrace Naps – Your newborn takes multiple naps—try to join them for at least two each day. Even 20-30 minute power naps can help reset your energy.
✔ Tag-Team with Your Partner – Whether it’s alternating night shifts, handling bottle prep, or splitting diaper changes, creating a team strategy can help you both get moments of uninterrupted sleep.
✔ Let Go of the Non-Essentials – Dishes, laundry, and emails can wait. Ask yourself: “Does this really need to be done right now?” If not, prioritize rest instead.
✔ Accept Help – Family and friends want to support you—let them! Outsource tasks like meal prep, laundry, and errands so you can focus on your recovery and your baby.
3. Nighttime Strategies: Setting the Stage for Better Sleep
Even though newborns wake frequently, creating a predictable nighttime routine can help them learn the difference between day and night over time.
Here’s how to set the foundation:
✔ Dim the lights – Darkness triggers melatonin, the sleep hormone. Use blackout curtains or a dim nightlight at bedtime.
✔ Use white noise – A steady hum (like a sound machine) can help block out disruptions and create a calming environment.
✔ Keep night feeds low-stimulation – Use soft voices and minimal eye contact to help your baby settle back to sleep faster.
✔ Contrast daytime and nighttime – Keep daytime bright and interactive, with plenty of talking, tummy time, and natural light to encourage wakefulness.
In my upcoming paid Substack, I’ll be sharing a step-by-step video guide on how to create a sleep-friendly routine from day one. Stay tuned!
4. Recognizing Fatigue: How Sleep Deprivation Affects Your Mental & Physical Health
Let’s be real—sleep deprivation takes a toll on your body and mind.
✔ If you’ve just given birth, your body is still recovering from labor, delivery, and hormonal shifts.
✔ The baby blues (mood swings, weepiness, and anxiety) are common in the first few weeks due to hormonal changes and lack of sleep.
✔ Chronic exhaustion can make you feel foggy, irritable, and overwhelmed.
What helps?
• Asking for help (your well-being is just as important as your baby’s).
• Giving yourself grace—you’re adjusting to an entirely new role!
• Prioritizing sleep wherever possible, even if that means saying “no” to other obligations.
If sleep deprivation starts affecting your ability to function or your mood in a prolonged way, consider seeking extra support. A sleep consultant can provide tailored strategies to help establish healthy sleep habits for both you and your baby.
5. Getting Support: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Overcoming sleep deprivation isn’t something you have to do alone. The more support you allow yourself, the better you’ll cope.
✔ Lean on your village – Ask family and friends for help with meals, cleaning, or even holding the baby while you rest.
✔ Find a routine that works for you – There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep. What matters is that you feel supported and rested enough to function.
✔ Get professional help if needed – A pediatric sleep consultant or postpartum doula can provide guidance tailored to your unique situation.
The sleepless nights may feel endless now, but I promise—they won’t last forever.
Want even more expert guidance? My paid Substack subscription is launching soon!
✅ Early access to exclusive video demonstrations, including:
• How to swaddle your baby safely and effectively
• Setting up a safe sleep environment for optimal rest
✅ Direct support! Ask me your personal sleep question, and I’ll answer it in my next email—tailored advice just for you!
This is your chance to get expert guidance and early access to must-know sleep strategies before anyone else!
Next up in my free newsletter: Top 10 Newborn Questions Answered by a Pediatric NP
Stay tuned—your sleep (and sanity) matter!
Follow me on Instagram @cubconvos for even more expert tips.
Let me know—what’s your biggest sleep struggle right now? Reply to this email, I’d love to hear from you!
You’ve got this!
— Kelly-Ann